Faith on Trial

It’s 11:41pm and I’m tired and in pain. For one reason or another these thoughts are tugging on my heart enough to know that I need to write them right now and not wait.

About 3 and a half years ago, I had a dream. The dream was that I was somewhere in a camp. We had huts by a stream and many believers of God were there. I remember looking around and we were all just doing normal everyday activities, when I was suddenly bitten on the leg by an orange snake. It hurt and in repulsion, fear and self defense, I ripped it from my leg and threw it. I walked back to my hut and I was bitten several more times on the way there. I had the same reaction each time. I remember that back in my hut, other people were there and suddenly I realized in looking around, that these snakes were everywhere. They were biting many people around me and I was trying to warn them to watch for these snakes. Many people began dying of these bites and so many people wouldn’t watch for these snakes that were lurking seemingly everywhere. I remember in my dream, that I either prayed or talked to God to help me and for some reason I had the understanding that God wasn’t letting these bites kill me. I had this dream and didn’t know what the meaning was, but I knew it was a significant dream and God was trying to tell me something.

Months later, I was listening to a sermon and “fiery serpents” were mentioned. It struck a chord immediately with me. I started looking it up in my scriptures. Numbers 21:3-9 appeared. It’s the story of Moses and the people in the wilderness.

And the LORD hearkened to the voice of Israel, and delivered up the Canaanites; and they utterly destroyed them and their cities: and he called the name of the place Hormah. 4And they journeyed from mount Hor by the way of the Red sea, to compass the land of Edom: and the soul of the people was much discouraged because of the way. 5And the people spake against God, and against Moses, Wherefore have ye brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? for there is no bread, neither is there any water; and our soul loatheth this light bread. 6And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died. 7Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD, and against thee; pray unto the LORD, that he take away the serpents from us. And Moses prayed for the people. 8And the LORD said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live. 9And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived.

What struck me the most about this story, was that God gave Moses the solution. Make a brass serpent, put it on a pole, and whoever is bitten by a fiery serpent, if they look upon this brass serpent they will live. Seems easy right? It’s not though. looking at that brass serpent is an act of faith. That soul would have to for one, believe God told Moses a solution. Number two, that soul would need to believe that God would heal them if they did what he said. Number three, that soul has to understand that in going through this process once, it didn’t guarantee they wouldn’t have to do it again. They could always be bit again.

Well, this dream suddenly made a whole lot of sense. I was getting bit left and right by trials. I needed to keep looking to God every single time I got bit. That brass serpent really symbolized God. Look to God during your trial. Nothing else can save you. I had to remind myself of this over and over.

This last week I wrote a blog post about Hebrews 10:35 Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.36For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

If you want to look further into that, you can go read that post here

I wrote about not getting discouraged when we experience setbacks and not giving up on God’s promises. I wrote that from a fairly high point and a place where I didn’t feel like I was currently suffering a lot. Well, let me tell you that as soon as I posted it, I got knocked on my butt. Literally.

You know how it describes the devil? 1st Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.  Yeah, a stalking lion. he is a soul serial killer. he stalks you, he knows what you do, where you go, the people you love, the doors you leave unlocked, and he is just waiting for the right opportunity to murder your faith, hope and charity and steal all of your peace. At just the moment you feel safe and secure, he robs you of your peace by hitting you somewhere it hurts. That’s what he did.

I am a rickety crippled body, with a fairly young shell. I have been doing really well physically for what my body has endured. I was feeling pretty good. Thursday night, the day after I posted my blog, my son got a mild concussion at school, my daughter was sick and not doing well, I had to clean her vomit up off the floor during a bible study at our house. She had a coughing fit in the room she was hid away in, and that night I lost my balance and fell backwards onto my butt in the closet. It took 9 years to hit the floor. A million thoughts flew through my head. The main one being NoOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! My worst fear! I landed after a small eternity, and It rattled me good, but I felt no pain. I just started sweating like crazy with my heart racing. I had so much adrenaline, I didn’t know I was hurt. I had my dad come administer to me with blessed oil and I went to bed. Friday morning I sat up and knew I had hurt my neck pretty good. I was in full spasm between my shoulder blades, with sharp pain in my neck. Because of my spinal fusions, this basically scares me to death. The pain was nauseating and made me so dizzy, my boys pretty much got themselves ready and out the door to school with me checking in from my bed. I finally could get up and move around, but I am still in a good deal of pain tonight. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I worry that I hurt something in my spine again.

I guess my point is that it’s easy to think, Well, if I get bit, I’ll just look at the brass serpent. However in the moment, when you get bit and the pain is searing through you, and you have a scary fiery serpent hooked into you and you are scrambling to get it off and fix the situation, and lamenting getting bit in the first place; We can sometimes forget to stop and look at the brass serpent. Stop and look to God. He has a plan to get you through this.

Wednesday, I wrote to you from a place of ease in comparison to the place I feel I am in tonight. The answer remains the same though…stop in your trial, and look to God. Trust that He knows, He has a plan, and He loves you. His plan for us is for good .

Jeremiah 29:11-13 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 12Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. 13And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

Thats what we do. We seek with all of our heart. We believe He will honor His promises, and we trust Him to have it all in His control. That is the only way peace can dwell in our hearts and not be stolen away by a stalker.


3 thoughts on “Faith on Trial

  1. Hello I just found your blog and am so exasperated !!! I am in the beginning stages of the attack on my body and no dr will say it’s the reason –I’m so upset –I wish we could have tea b talk –I will read your words n I hope I can be as strong as you are


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