I am so excited to write this blog post. My fingers can’t type fast enough to catch up with the hamster in a full run on the wheel that is my brain.
Sometimes God is subtle. Sometimes His whisper to your soul is so faint that you strain to hear His leading and pray fervently to hear Him clearly. Sometimes, God is not subtle and I admit, those are my very favorite moments. The moment where He announces something to you in a way that is clear, undeniable and sometimes even humorous.
I fasted yesterday for several reasons. I needed to pray that God would fill me. I find that when I get tired and overwhelmed with life, I struggle to focus on the most important things. I pray, but it can be sometimes distracted or a struggle to focus or even worse…I fall asleep in the middle. I hate when that happens. I always wake up ashamed that I didn’t revere speaking to God enough to stay alert. I mean, can you imagine approaching His throne to beg for help and you fall asleep in front of Him? Uhg. I beat myself up when that happens. I don’t see it the same as the times when I feel tormented by something and can’t sleep and I go to Him in search of comfort and peace and He grants that and I fall asleep. I see that instance more like when my own children were little and they would get overtired, scared, upset, hurt, or distraught over something and they would climb onto my lap and I would comfort them and they relaxed and drifted off into rest. In that case, God holds you as a child and offers that protection of His strong arms and peace. He is so good to do that for me sometimes. Anyways, I needed a day of focused prayer.
I also had some personal concerns. One of these concerns is for one of my best friends. She is very seriously considering a new career path after many years of being very successful in her current line of work. This change would be pretty big and unseat her from her comfortable nest. This is a nest that she has meticulously built with God’s blessing. This career change opportunity is a bit terrifying. She would start brand new, in a setting very different than her current one.
We want to know how things are going to look around the next corner. We want guarantees and road maps and signs. SIGNS…BIG flashing signs. So I have been praying for God to give her a huge sign with His fingerprints all over it, for her peace and reassurance. I’ve been praying that if it’s the right thing, for God to open the door, and if it’s not, for God to close the door.
In my life, I have asked for signs many times. Sometimes He gives really big signs and sometimes it’s barely decipherable. Thankfully God hasn’t give me a Jeff Foxworthy, “Here’s your sign,” That consists of a large L held up to my forehead. I’ve given myself that L for “Loser” sign more times than one in my life. Usually I give myself that sign after I do things like, walk through Target with 4 feet of toilet paper hanging like a banner out the back of my shorts. I could have walked under a rug without ducking after that one. I felt pretty low. God knows I embarrass myself the worst when I’m already super nervous. Isn’t that a great irony? Yeah, I have a radio interview tomorrow to talk about my blog and the book I wrote. I am so nervous. Like…super duper pooper scooper nervous about that one. I am praying about that as well. These 2 big things, plus some other more private concerns, let me know I needed to fast. Yesterday I did that fast, and it was a good day and I did find peace and focus.
I hung out with my friend this morning. We usually walk together and have coffee, but we didn’t have our best feet to put forward today. My foot is sore from an unfortunate bout with cellulitis at the beginning of the week, and she has flared up tendonitis at the moment, so we took it easy. We decided to sit at one of our fave coffee places and then we went into Costco to grab some things we both needed. Honestly we could probably do just about anything hanging out together and it would be a good time. We got back to my house and she was getting ready to go, but we had planned on praying together before parting.
First she prayed for me and my radio interview. She prayed for me to have wisdom, and to guide the interview and my answers. She also prayed for me to be able to glorify God with my testimony. These have been the prayers of my heart about this interview as well. I felt blessed by this and I knew I wanted to have an opportunity to pray for her and the decision she will have to make about this career path change. When she was finished, It was my turn to begin asking our Father in heaven for His blessing for her. I prayed a bit about her having peace and to know which direction to take. Then I said, “If it would be the right thing, for you to open the door.” In that very moment as I prayed, in almost perfect tandem…The front door to my house, unsuctioned and gently breezed open. OPEN guys! The door OPENED! The security door was still shut and bolted and the inside door opened. I was instantly overcome with the realization that not only was God’s holy spirit there with us, but He was giving us a HUGE sign. I could barely contain my excitement to finish what I still needed to pray. When I finished, I looked up at my precious friend and her eyes had filled with tears too. We both looked at each other with tears in our eyes, our mouths wide open and then we squeeled and marveled at what had just taken place. Both of us knowing fully, that not only our prayers were heard, but that God in His great mercy had given us one of those big flashing signs. The type of sign you need to unseat yourself from a comfy nest and give you the courage to leap with His leading and fly to whatever He has for you next. There is a beauty and comfort knowing that God opens doors no man can shut, and God closes doors no man can open. He does this in His great unfathomable love and wisdom.
I know God will be with me in my radio interview and I know God will be with my friend in her leap of faith as well. I could never lay out a plan as beautiful and as intricate and perfect as God can. One of the biggest struggles I have, is that I like a plan and I want to know what’s next, how it will go and the step after that.
When my husband and I had one of our first married arguments nearly 15 years ago…I thought the world was crashing down. We weren’t the perfect married couple like I had so naively predicted. My wonderful Mom and law just chuckled, and said not to worry, “This is just part of ironing out the wrinkles.” God is continually ironing out my wrinkles. I think I might even be a stiff linen because I am always needing to re iron out trust. God is constantly ironing this nightmare of a linen. Trust is one of the most stubborn wrinkles in the sheet of me. He is always reminding me that I don’t always get to know the next step, but He is ahead of me and is leading me in the best path. I just keep reaching out and grabbing His hand and taking the next step of faith. Whatever your next step of faith is, you can know that you have a divine guide who knows what is ahead and He will lead you every time you ask. Sometimes God even sends signs to point the way.
- Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open thedoor, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
He stands at the door and knocks, He may even let himself in your front door if He know’s He is welcome.
- For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.