His eye is on the sparrow…and I know He watches me.
I want to follow God’s plan for my life so badly. I search and search and look and pray and hope that I am doing this whole life thing right and moving in the direction God wants me too. I fear that I probably walk this whole christian walk with the dexterity and grace of a toddler. Trying to be one with God’s spirit is not always easy. I liken it to a 3 legged race, where I and the Holy Ghost are tied together and I am the weak link. I probably drive God crazy with all of my trying to figure out when to walk and follow and lead and coordinate this whole walk on the straight and narrow path.
I’m a slow learner. God has to bounce things off of my rock like head, numerous times before I actually change something. I think it just takes that long for the lesson to sink in and make an impact on my brain cells. If a point were a tennis ball, and God’s spirit was like Venus Williams; She could serve 300 tennis balls directly into my forehead, before my sloth like self could wake up and get out of the way. I can’t run, or swing a racket very well and my depth perception is off. My nature is not toward tennis playing. My nature is not toward God’s ways either. I am the natural man. Amy is a woman, and God is not Venus Williams, but I think you know what I mean. Man’s nature is not toward God’s ways. We have to make conscious decisions to do things the way God directs.
If you have read my book or some of my posts, you may remember reading that the scripture that God gives me repeatedly, is
Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
This scripture has come to me in miraculous ways. Printed in cards, emails from a friend, handwritten by a friend’s 6 year old in Sunday school and handed to me, told to me by a minister who was divinely inspired, on the radio…ect. It is always when I need it. Every time I’ve faced a major worry, it appears. I know God does this because He knew my biggest weakness is fear. I am a worry wart. When I don’t know the outcome of a situation or how it’s going to ever turn out okay…I worry and fret and drive myself crazy.
The humorous angle, is that I never want to admit to myself that this is what I’m doing and it’s fruitless. I try to say I’m leaving it in God’s hands and giving Him control, but it looks way more like a pit bull playing tug of war with a sock. I put it in God’s hand, but try to really never let go.
Tonight I had a slew of worries. My kids are starting school this next week, there is a lot associated with making sure all of them are ready. I have some health tests I’m waiting to know the results of. I do struggle with chronic daily pain that sometimes exhausts me. There are some other personal worries I’ve been mulling over. Situations I don’t understand. Heartaches I wish would be alleviated for people I love…the list was long you guys. I have felt pretty bogged down. I didn’t even realize how much so, until the sermon tonight.
One of our ministers delivers sermons in a way that always feels like an arrow that cuts through and exactly pinpoints the crux of something. Every time he preaches, he puts things in a light that I haven’t considered before. I was excited to see him go up to the pulpit to be introduced as our speaker of the hour. There was a special musical devotion right before he began and one of the women in our congregation sang, “His eye is on the sparrow.” When our minister began his sermon, he explained that he had asked her to sing that particular song because it applied to what he was speaking about. He then proceeded to talk about the story behind the song. He said that the woman who wrote it, was the wife of a baptist minister. She had been visiting two very close friends who had been crippled. This couple was a faithful and inspiring couple with steadfast dedication to God. I guess her husband asked the woman, “What is your secret to staying faithful and joyful in spite of such struggles?” She replied, “If His eye is on the sparrow, then I know He watches me.”
Mathew 10: 29-31
28 And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.
29. Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.
30. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
31. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.
Our minister then talked about how God knows when a sparrow falls. Most humans don’t even care to know about the majority of a sparrows existence. It’s almost completely non impacting. Most sparrows are born, live and die, without us ever really noting them. God cares though. He keeps track of each sparrow. God even knows how many hairs are on our head. This is profoundly awesome to me because I feel like the amount of hairs on my head are ever changing. Judging by the shower drain, there is probably great casualties that adjust that number after each time I wash my hair. God knows the number though. He knows because He put them there. If we are much more valuable than sparrows, How much more does God know about us? He keeps note of it all. He knows every single detail of us and of what is going on in our heart, our minds, and in our lives. Nothing is forgotten or unnoticed. I’m going to take those thoughts a little further.
Mathew 6: 26-34
26. Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
27.Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
28.And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
29.And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30.Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clotheyou, O ye of little faith?
31.Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32.(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
I have to stop worrying about whether I am going to accidentally mess up God’s plan for my life, or if God is going to let some horrible thing happen. God knows my head hairs! Even if those things happen, He will still strive with me if I keep reaching my hand up to Him for help and asking for His direction and correction. Even if we mess up, He isn’t like…well that was a waste.. Toss that one in the garbage. For as long as we are still trying and want Him to be ever present and accomplishing His will in our lives; He will strive with us to accomplish His will in our lives. If we want God with us, there is nothing that can separate us from Him. God has promised to provide the things we truly need, when we seek the kingdom of God first.
Romans 8:38 and 39
38. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39. Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
You may recognize the tail end of this passage from my post last week. That is no accident. I’ve been mulling over this passage, for the last couple weeks. I was pleasantly surprised that this was the heart of the sermon last night. I have been finding that God has been reassuring me nearly every time I write a post, that it was what I needed to write about. I needed to write about it for me. I feel like God gives me puzzle pieces and then inspiration as to how they are tied together. By the time I actually write out a whole post, I feel like He has spoken to me. He is teaching me through writing. It’s the most crazy wonderful adventure that I never knew I needed so badly.
Twice I’ve written a blog post on my computer, only to have a scripture I used, pop up as my Bible app scripture of the day on my phone for the next day. More than twice, a topic that I’ve been mulling over, has been the topic of a sermon I didn’t know was about to be preached. This week I’ve been thinking about sparrows and I’ve been stressed out about some things beyond my control. God sent the sermon I needed to hear so I could digest it all together as a completely wonderful picture that proves that God not only knows how many hairs are on my head, but also the private secret contemplations of my heart and mind. God knows yours too. I know that, because you guys write and tell me that this stuff has been on your hearts too.
The truth is that nothing on this planet or in this universe, is more important than enduring to the end. We must make the best of, and endure through everything we are thrown. Our life will be successful if our last heartbeat ceases with an enormous love for God and a peace that this whole world will pass away, but our souls won’t. Every last thing we see around us, will be gone someday, but the souls won’t. We only need to ever fear, what can destroy our soul. We don’t even need to fear death, as long as we are still running our race with God. Even if it looks like a messy 3 legged race. Success is only measured by making it to the finish line still holding on to God.
I want to wrap this up with a parallel. You guys obviously have gathered by now, that I love parallels. Our minister ended his sermon by telling us that in this Native American community he had learned about, there was a coming of age ritual. The ritual was that a boy around age 11, would have to carry out a tribal ritual to prove his coming of age. It was a facing of fears. He wasn’t required to hunt anything or do any certain task. He just had to make it through a night in the wild. He said each boy knew he would have to endure the darkness, and possibly the animals and dangers that might come his way. In the morning though, at the first light when it was enough to see and look around and gather his bearings, he would find that his own father was sitting a short distance off while armed with a long bow. The boy would then realize he’d never really been alone. His father had been watching over him and protecting him the whole time.
We have to face our fears in the dark sometimes, but our Father in Heaven is always watching over us and he still has it all within His control.
I’m going to leave you with one of my favorite poems. Most everyone knows it. I remember that when I read for the first time as a child, I cried. It just touched me so deeply.